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WELCOME. enjoy your stay ;)
me;
.EMPRINSESA.
NIKKI. a happy, jolly person, who could be emotional at times and often experiences sudden moodswings, finds joy in: Clothes, coffee, rubik's cubes, jackets, dogs, artwork™, graphic tees,school, blogging, FAMILY, FRIENDS AND GOD. She doesn't mind being alone, but she likes to be surrounded with friends and loved ones.
SHE owns this site. and would appreciate it if you'd drop a tag. SHE loves you ;)
want more?
my DEVIANTART
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NIKKI. a happy, jolly person, who could be emotional at times and often experiences sudden moodswings, finds joy in: Clothes, coffee, rubik's cubes, jackets, dogs, artwork™, graphic tees,
SHE owns this site. and would appreciate it if you'd drop a tag. SHE loves you ;)
want more?
my DEVIANTART
my multiply
my friendster
talk;
leave;
reminisce;
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
credits;
NO STEALING, COPYING, PIRACY,or any actions related to those.
GIVE CREDIT.I like it when i see my name on credits. :).
thankyou. <3
*----------*
layout by: nikki, emprinsesa.:).
website since july 2007
© 2007
GIVE CREDIT.I like it when i see my name on credits. :).
thankyou. <3
*----------*
layout by: nikki, emprinsesa.:).
website since july 2007
© 2007
can't help but to complain.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
♥How come you always know exactly what to say to make me feel good?
♥yet you're exactly the reason why i feel bad.
I can't get over this nerve-racking irritating sensation. Which seems to worsten as I struggle to deal with various things, ie. my bookreport, amblin, homeworks, projects, the upcoming periodic exams, etc. But as i go on through the whole process, I find myself getting more and more stressed. Which is quite ironic since I'm supposed to feel relieved since one by one, I get to finish them.
I get especially irritated when I force my self to read. Since I woke up this morning I had started on finishing 'message in a bottle', I already finished about 40+ or 50+ pages, and still have 80+ to go, then after lunch I sat down to read this article in kerygma about addiction. Which was the topic for our amblin corner in CLVE. It took me longer than expected, probably because my eyes are already complaining. Kaia nga I'm blogging, to atleast take a break, I wasn't really sure if this was a good idea, coz it would really take much of time, which was really precious right now. Pero I need to do this for myself. A little relaxation won't hurt right? and besides I hadn't blogged since sir baggay's departure ;) .. hmm..
This blog anyway is completely pointless, I just want to complain about my stresses, a sentiment a lot of the juniors are probably facing as well.
In case I fail to blog for the next week, you guys would know the reason; periodic exams. :)
Tapos I was burdened pa with this issue regarding the CFC, I am not in the position to complain about it, since it's a little off my business, but it passes through my thoughts every once in a while, I can't help it.
And there's this major emotional stress that I'm currently facing. Which really weighs down most of my load. I have to stop blogging na and go on with my Amblin corner, I have to learn to prioritize.
I really hope you could read this: _ _ _ - pwede ba, wag ka na magtxt kung pinaplano mo namang hindi magreply. nakakarami ka na eh! x(
♥yet you're exactly the reason why i feel bad.
I can't get over this nerve-racking irritating sensation. Which seems to worsten as I struggle to deal with various things, ie. my bookreport, amblin, homeworks, projects, the upcoming periodic exams, etc. But as i go on through the whole process, I find myself getting more and more stressed. Which is quite ironic since I'm supposed to feel relieved since one by one, I get to finish them.
I get especially irritated when I force my self to read. Since I woke up this morning I had started on finishing 'message in a bottle', I already finished about 40+ or 50+ pages, and still have 80+ to go, then after lunch I sat down to read this article in kerygma about addiction. Which was the topic for our amblin corner in CLVE. It took me longer than expected, probably because my eyes are already complaining. Kaia nga I'm blogging, to atleast take a break, I wasn't really sure if this was a good idea, coz it would really take much of time, which was really precious right now. Pero I need to do this for myself. A little relaxation won't hurt right? and besides I hadn't blogged since sir baggay's departure ;) .. hmm..
This blog anyway is completely pointless, I just want to complain about my stresses, a sentiment a lot of the juniors are probably facing as well.
In case I fail to blog for the next week, you guys would know the reason; periodic exams. :)
Tapos I was burdened pa with this issue regarding the CFC, I am not in the position to complain about it, since it's a little off my business, but it passes through my thoughts every once in a while, I can't help it.
And there's this major emotional stress that I'm currently facing. Which really weighs down most of my load. I have to stop blogging na and go on with my Amblin corner, I have to learn to prioritize.
I really hope you could read this: _ _ _ - pwede ba, wag ka na magtxt kung pinaplano mo namang hindi magreply. nakakarami ka na eh! x(
go back tears...
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
"You have to face the fact that the chapter of your lives with sir Baggay is OVER."
--Sir Moses.
Those words slapped me like a fat kid diving belly-first in a pool. OUCH.
Who would ever thought that one day, you'll wake up to see no more, one of the things that makes classes worth listening to, one of the things that makes CHEMISTRY worth learning ...one of the things that makes you happy.
Sir baggay left quietly, opposing his usual noisiness and cheerfulness.. How noisy he was whenever he conducted his discussions with us, how hyper he was especially when delivering his jokes, and how we would all laugh, corny or mabenta, we learned to appreciate them. Somehow, he made us all smile in ways he had never noticed. SIR BAGGAY WAS SPECIAL TO US IN WAYS HE NEVER SEES.
"Matapang si sir baggay" And we are proud of him, he was indeed brave to leave St.Paul, a school he had worked in for the past 7years, he was brave to leave his DEAR STUDENTS (my dear students, how he would often refer to us.) and fellow teachers, he was too brave to leave everything behind for his family's sake.
"sana hindi nalang siya nagpa-atach satin ng ganto kung aalis naman siya bigla." I heared one of my classmates say those words. yes, sana.. pero we attached ourselves to him, thinking that he won't leave us, thinking that upto our highschool graduation, he would still be there. Pero mahirap mag assume.. kaya nga tayo nasasaktan. Grabe, nasasaktan tlga ako.. alam niyo ba ung simpleng picture ni sir baggay, iiyakan ko, kasi all i could think of is "kelan ko ba ulit makikita si sir? kelan ulit nia checheckan notebook ko? kelan ko uli madidinig boses nia?" pero back to reality, it might never happen. Browsing through my chem notebook would make me all teary-eyed, naaalala ko kasi kung pano nia dinidictate satin ung notes, kung pano nia tayo pinapatawa with "..what is the color of the balloon?" .. grabe.
I can't help but to cry nga kaninang chem with mrs. Tamaro, she saw me cry nga eh, and the only explanation i could think of is i really miss sir baggay.
People might say na OA na, tama na. Pero they would never understand the bond that we have developed with sir, hindi lang siya teacher and student relationship eh... we were BESTFRIENDS. kaia ngaun, kahit gano ka simple ung bagay, or even how the simplest words that would remind us of him would make our eyes swell up.
We have to give him space, we have to let him move on... Kasi kailangan din natin mag move on. Mahihirapan lang si sir kung forever tayo magdedwell sa pag alis niya, yes, we would forever miss him kasi nga walang papalit kay sir baggay . Pero let's just think na, his family needs him more than we do, let us not be selfish. :'(
There's something about the way sir stands, the way he talks, those twinkle in his eyes, how he laughs out loud at his own jokes and how he would love it when we would tell him that he's GWAPO... those things would stick like a tatoo in our minds and hearts, for there will never be a person just like him na simpleng tawa lang niya ay napapasaya na tayo.. :'((
"..I will never forget you 3POF." --sir baggay.
...neither will we.
Heart broken? read.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
July 22, 1997
My Dearest Catherine,
I miss you my darling as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together. I can almost feel you beside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of wildflowers that always reminds me of you. But at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. Your visits have been coming less often, and I feel sometimes as if the greatest part of who I am is slowly slipping away.
I am trying, though. At night when I am alone, I call for you, and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a may to return to me. Last night, in my dreams, I saw you on the pier near Wrightsville Beach. The wind was blowing through your hair, and your eyes held the fading sun light. I am struck as I see you leaning against the rail. You are beautiful, I think I see you, a vision that I can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk toward you, and when you finally turn to me, I notice that others have been watching you as well. "Do you know her?" they ask me in jealous whispers, and as you smile at me, I simply answer back with the truth. "Better than my own heart."
I stop when I reach you and take you in my arms. I long for this moment more than any other. It is what I live for, and when you return my embrace, I give myself over to this moment, at peace once again.
I raise my head and gently touch your cheek and you tilt your head and close your eyes. My hands are hard and your skin is soft, and I wonder for a moment if you'll pull back, but of course you don't. You never have, and it is at times like this that I know what my purpose is in life.
I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.
But then, as always, the mist starts to form as we stand close to one another. It is a distant fog that rises from the horizon, and I find that I grow fearful as it approaches. It slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us in, as if to prevent escape. Like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything, closing, until there is nothing left but the two of us.
I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well-up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look you give me at that moment haunts me. I feel your sadness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short time grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and step back into the fog because it is your place and not mine. I long to go with you, but your only response is to shake your head because we both know that is impossible.
And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself straining to remember everything about this moment, everything about you. But soon, always too soon, your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and I do not care what others think as I bow my head and cry and cry and cry.
Garrett
Excerpted from Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks...
The message was so beautiful, it got me all teary-eyed with all the emotions placed on it, LOVE, desperation, longing... Emotions that all of us have probably felt at least once in our lives.
While reading this, let me ask you, was there a particular person who was on your mind all through out? Or have you at least imagined the scene? but the difference was that you were either Garett or Catherine?...
Honestly, I have imagined myself as Catherine, as silly as it may seem, but every girl has her fairytale. Mine is to find a guy such as Garett, but in the story (I haven't finished the book yet), It wasn't Catherine and Garett that will end up together, it was Theresa and Garett I think. Not sure. (UPDATE: I just finished another chapter, i learned that catherine died :'( ..) But what does this imply?... That heartbreaks are blessings, think about it, a heartbreak is just painful way of saving you from the 'wrong one' and leading you to the one that was meant for you.
I know I'm too young to say such words, but sometimes people who had been blinded by love/ heartbreaks forget to open their eyes and stand up again. As young as I may, This would probably be the perfect time to write such an article/ blog. While I still have the innocence ;) (yuck. feeling :P ) ... para someday, when I break my heart, I would go back, and read this, to remind me of how I used to be before falling in love and getting hurt.
emo?!
a little something for the "broken-hearted"s :)
My Dearest Catherine,
I miss you my darling as I always do, but today is especially hard because the ocean has been singing to me, and the song is that of our life together. I can almost feel you beside me as I write this letter, and I can smell the scent of wildflowers that always reminds me of you. But at this moment, these things give me no pleasure. Your visits have been coming less often, and I feel sometimes as if the greatest part of who I am is slowly slipping away.
I am trying, though. At night when I am alone, I call for you, and whenever my ache seems to be the greatest, you still seem to find a may to return to me. Last night, in my dreams, I saw you on the pier near Wrightsville Beach. The wind was blowing through your hair, and your eyes held the fading sun light. I am struck as I see you leaning against the rail. You are beautiful, I think I see you, a vision that I can never find in anyone else. I slowly begin to walk toward you, and when you finally turn to me, I notice that others have been watching you as well. "Do you know her?" they ask me in jealous whispers, and as you smile at me, I simply answer back with the truth. "Better than my own heart."
I stop when I reach you and take you in my arms. I long for this moment more than any other. It is what I live for, and when you return my embrace, I give myself over to this moment, at peace once again.
I raise my head and gently touch your cheek and you tilt your head and close your eyes. My hands are hard and your skin is soft, and I wonder for a moment if you'll pull back, but of course you don't. You never have, and it is at times like this that I know what my purpose is in life.
I am here to love you, to hold you in my arms, to protect you. I am here to learn from you and to receive your love in return. I am here because there is no other place to be.
But then, as always, the mist starts to form as we stand close to one another. It is a distant fog that rises from the horizon, and I find that I grow fearful as it approaches. It slowly creeps in, enveloping the world around us, fencing us in, as if to prevent escape. Like a rolling cloud, it blankets everything, closing, until there is nothing left but the two of us.
I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well-up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look you give me at that moment haunts me. I feel your sadness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent for only a short time grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and step back into the fog because it is your place and not mine. I long to go with you, but your only response is to shake your head because we both know that is impossible.
And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself straining to remember everything about this moment, everything about you. But soon, always too soon, your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and I do not care what others think as I bow my head and cry and cry and cry.
Garrett
Excerpted from Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks...
The message was so beautiful, it got me all teary-eyed with all the emotions placed on it, LOVE, desperation, longing... Emotions that all of us have probably felt at least once in our lives.
While reading this, let me ask you, was there a particular person who was on your mind all through out? Or have you at least imagined the scene? but the difference was that you were either Garett or Catherine?...
Honestly, I have imagined myself as Catherine, as silly as it may seem, but every girl has her fairytale. Mine is to find a guy such as Garett, but in the story (I haven't finished the book yet), It wasn't Catherine and Garett that will end up together, it was Theresa and Garett I think. Not sure. (UPDATE: I just finished another chapter, i learned that catherine died :'( ..) But what does this imply?... That heartbreaks are blessings, think about it, a heartbreak is just painful way of saving you from the 'wrong one' and leading you to the one that was meant for you.
I know I'm too young to say such words, but sometimes people who had been blinded by love/ heartbreaks forget to open their eyes and stand up again. As young as I may, This would probably be the perfect time to write such an article/ blog. While I still have the innocence ;) (yuck. feeling :P ) ... para someday, when I break my heart, I would go back, and read this, to remind me of how I used to be before falling in love and getting hurt.
emo?!
a little something for the "broken-hearted"s :)